I've loved you from the first time I saw you. I think I was 12. It took me 3 years to pluck up the courage to speak to you. And I was so scared of the way I felt. But I learned how to become a sarcastic bitch just to make it feel normal. I screw guys to make it go away, but It didn't work. When we got together it scared the shit out of me because you were the one person who could ruin my life. I pushed you away and made you think things were your fault, but really, I was just terrified of pain. But... I couldn't stand. I didn't want to be a slave for the way I feel about you. Can you understand? You were trying to punish me back and it's horrible. It's so horrible because, really, I'd die for you. I love you. I love you so much it's killing me.